The Myth of You and Me
"I watched as my best friend abandoned me. I felt what it was to be negated in that way, and I understood that if hatred can negate us, love can create us, and when we lose it we don't know who we are."
~Cameron in The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart
We met in Sunday School when our family moved to Vancouver. I was 7 years old. We didn't become close friends until we were 11. I'm not sure why. We attended different schools, so at first we only saw each other at church on Sundays and Wednesday nights for Girls' Club. We were best friends.
We have been through so much together since then: family illnesses, baptisms, first boyfriends, parent/teen misunderstandings, dating the guy she liked (I didn't know she liked him that much), pranking at summer camp, bible school, engagements, weddings, being youth leaders, having babies, miscarriages, guardians for each others children...
I remember being in a bible study group years ago, trying, with difficulty, to explain my thoughts on a particular doctrine or spiritual discipline and wishing she were there because she would understand me completely. She was with me when so much of my spirituality was developing.
Since then, she has kept on the high road, what I consider fanaticism, (some would call main stream Christianity). Our religious beliefs are so far apart now that I don't know if we could ever be close again. We are estranged. So much of our connection in the past had to do with our deep religious beliefs and our straight-laced code of ethics, I think. Our love for each other was couched in our love for the Lord. I have slowly walked away from main stream Christianity, (not without bouts of identity crisis), and our relationship couldn't handle the strain. Possibly the reason we couldn't hold on to each other is because of our honesty. I can't do Christianity her way and she believes it's the only way. She goes to foreign countries to proselytize and I can't get past the arrogance that conveys, nor the damage that proselytizing has done historically to many peoples.
I miss her; my best friend of the past. I miss the part about 'changing the world, being different, standing up for what is right, advocating for those who are marginalized', together. What if I called her up and we went for fair trade hot chocolate and discussed our "ethical addictions". It could be the start of a better world, or at the very least, a better me and a better she.
~Cameron in The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart
We met in Sunday School when our family moved to Vancouver. I was 7 years old. We didn't become close friends until we were 11. I'm not sure why. We attended different schools, so at first we only saw each other at church on Sundays and Wednesday nights for Girls' Club. We were best friends.
We have been through so much together since then: family illnesses, baptisms, first boyfriends, parent/teen misunderstandings, dating the guy she liked (I didn't know she liked him that much), pranking at summer camp, bible school, engagements, weddings, being youth leaders, having babies, miscarriages, guardians for each others children...
I remember being in a bible study group years ago, trying, with difficulty, to explain my thoughts on a particular doctrine or spiritual discipline and wishing she were there because she would understand me completely. She was with me when so much of my spirituality was developing.
Since then, she has kept on the high road, what I consider fanaticism, (some would call main stream Christianity). Our religious beliefs are so far apart now that I don't know if we could ever be close again. We are estranged. So much of our connection in the past had to do with our deep religious beliefs and our straight-laced code of ethics, I think. Our love for each other was couched in our love for the Lord. I have slowly walked away from main stream Christianity, (not without bouts of identity crisis), and our relationship couldn't handle the strain. Possibly the reason we couldn't hold on to each other is because of our honesty. I can't do Christianity her way and she believes it's the only way. She goes to foreign countries to proselytize and I can't get past the arrogance that conveys, nor the damage that proselytizing has done historically to many peoples.
I miss her; my best friend of the past. I miss the part about 'changing the world, being different, standing up for what is right, advocating for those who are marginalized', together. What if I called her up and we went for fair trade hot chocolate and discussed our "ethical addictions". It could be the start of a better world, or at the very least, a better me and a better she.
posted by Mo at 9:00 PM
2 Comments:
Your story prompted me to think about the situation in some countries like Rwanda where tribal differences that are rooted deeper than friendships drive people who were once friends to become enemies. How does this happen?
Wonder what the view is from the other side. Does it look like you are wrong and if it does why is that person not trying to reach out to the extent she is reaching out to save the rest of the world? Frustrating to experience when one persons worldview of what is Christian excludes most Christians. When we lived in the US I detested being associated with Christians since the right wing fundi's have defined/owned the label. I wonder if this is how Menno Simons felt when he could not longer accept the teachings of the Catholic Church.
THAT'S IT - lets start a new denomination!!!! This will solve everything. History repeats itself over and over I guess.
Your story prompted me to think about the situation in some countries like Rwanda where tribal differences that are rooted deeper than friendships drive people who were once friends to become enemies. How does this happen?
Wonder what the view is from the other side. Does it look like you are wrong and if it does why is that person not trying to reach out to the extent she is reaching out to save the rest of the world? Frustrating to experience when one persons worldview of what is Christian excludes most Christians. When we lived in the US I detested being associated with Christians since the right wing fundi's have defined/owned the label. I wonder if this is how Menno Simons felt when he could not longer accept the teachings of the Catholic Church.
THAT'S IT - lets start a new denomination!!!! This will solve everything. History repeats itself over and over I guess.
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