Just Joking

I have a hard time laughing at myself. I pride myself in having a sense of humour and yet I can't just laugh off mistakes, or naivite, or confusion. When my children or husband imitate or mock me, I can't join in the joke. I don't like looking foolish.

I have this underlying inferiority complex. I grew up thinking that I never knew what everyone else already knew. I worked hard at school and got good marks but still felt that I wasn't very intelligent. To this day, I'm intimidated by people who have degrees or seem to have an abundance of knowledge and/or education.

When I speak out about something, usually I speak from feelings rather than thoughts. I'm passionate but vague. I don't remember details and when I present, I'm not very logical. I'm very conscious about knowing how I feel but not really knowing what I think. I'm not a quick wit and I can't think on my feet.

I would like to lighten up about me and not take me so seriously. I want to be more layed back about the mistakes I make and the learning process. I think that would make life much more fun.