Break A Leg

I'm so tired. I've spent hours and hours on Hope Little Theatre's production of "Moo" by Sally Clark. I have a small part and I have the job of production manager. There is just over 2 weeks till showtime and still so much to do. Some nights I can't sleep because of the thoughts and lists swirling around in my head. There seems to be so much riding on the success of my performance. Why is that I wonder? What am I trying to prove and to whom. It's just a play. I have no reputation to live up to because I've never done anything like this before. I took it on to stretch, try something new, challenge myself. Mission accomplished and I'm soooo tired.

These group endeavours are complicated. The success or failure isn't totally dependent on my energy, enthusiasm, or skills (or lack of) alone. Up until this week, it has mostly been fun. In the last few days, my anxiety level has increased substantially and I've noticed I'm not alone in this. There were a few others letting their crankiness show. As we waded through the whole play, there were moments of clarity and flow and brilliant momentum and timing. There was much murkiness and blundering as well. The missed cues and bumbling lines were the least of it. The technical complexities of a 2 act play with 47 scenes and 18 characters, (played by 10 actors), taking place from 1919 to the 1970's, can cause headaches and sleep deprivation. I know we'll pull this off and it will be fun and the audience will be entertained and possibly captivated. In the meantime, did I mention how tired I am?