#1 I am miserable when...

I haven't been faithful to the writing process. I'm often stuck for things to write. Recently I attended a tutor training session. The instructor gave us a sheet full of journaling ideas to use for learners who have difficulty writing. I'm going to try to use them regularly.

I'm miserable when I've hurt someone even if it's unintentionally. I'm anxious when my family or friends are sick or hurting. I'm judgemental when people waste things like; food, time, natural resources. I'm depressed when I think of global warming and how it seems that government is doing nothing about it, or not enough. I'm sad when I think of the conflicts in Afganistan, Gaza, and Zimbabwe to name just a few. I'm mad when I feel that I have no solutions to the problems I face, the community faces, the country, the world. I'm angry when I or others are treated unjustly. I'm grouchy when I have to spend way more money than I expected to pay. I hate it when people are disrespectful. I'm cranky when I haven't lived up to my own or others expectations, whether that's at work or in my personal life. I feel like I'm going to explode when I don't get enough exercise or if I haven't been in the forest recently. I complain when I think things should be done differently. It hurts when I am excluded or let down. I'm bitchy when I don't get my own way sometimes. I'm embarrassed when I think I've said something stupid or when I think that someone else thinks that I've said something stupid.

I am miserable when I haven't spent time thinking positively, dreaming dreams, making a difference, living life to the fullest.

Flashback

Last Monday I had the pleasure of spending time with my 2 1/2 year old friend Sol. We spent time exploring outside, flying his helicopters inside, reading and cuddling. I had brought along some favourite books of my children. We read "Angela's Airplane", which made me think of Angela as a baby, toddler, preschooler, school aged, teen, and adult,(the way she is self-taught in most things, an experiential learner) We read it over and over and over again at Sol's request. We read "Love You Forever", (I can never read that book without crying), which made me think of Paul, my charmer who was so hard to say no to, no matter what he was asking for. We read "Me Too", which made me think of Gillian, following her siblings all over the place, trying to keep up. "And my little sister said, me too!", (Not anymore, she's blazing her own trail). Watching Sol and his determination to be independent, "do it myself", reminded me of Jessica. She was ferocious with her demands of doing it her way.

In addition to the flashback of my life when my kids were young, getting to know Sol a little better, being the recipient of his amazing smile, laughing together, meandering on our walk, stopping so many places along the way because it was of interest to him, answering his question,"Why?" until I ran out of answers, made for a magnificent day.

Love you forever Sol.